Inspired by her Mum, Debi got in touch with our Volunteers for Carers service. She’s now a befriender to Robert. You can read her story below.
Volunteers for Carers gives carers flexible and direct support to carers when they need it. You can read more on our webpage. To find out about volunteering with the service, email Ilona Kos – ilona.kos@edinburgh.gov.uk.
Robert, me, and Senga makes three!
I had always thought about volunteering in some form. I did a Google search on “Befriending” and got in touch with Ilona. After a few meetings with Ilona, she matched me up with Robert.
I started supporting Robert back in December 2023, he has onset dementia. The first few meetings were at home, over a coffee and we chatted about life, his interests are football – Hearts, (which I knew nothing about until I started supporting Robert!) war history as he taught this and in particular WW1, WW2 and the Russian revolution and travel, (travel was one of my interests too). I also told Robert and Sandra (Robert’s wife) about Senga, they’ve had dogs throughout their lives and so Senga was invited to join me on my visits. She’d lie at Robert’s feet while I read to him. Sandra’s even bought Senga her own wee treat box!
Unfortunately, at the turn of the New Year, Robert fell at home and broke his hip, he was in the Western General for a week, then Robert was moved out to Haddington for recuperation. He was there for some time while Sandra got things in place for Robert coming home. Sandra took me out to see Robert on my first visit and then suggested that I take Senga out the next time (yip, you’re allowed dogs in the hospital! 🐾). Senga and I regularly visited Robert in hospital, he’d say “nice to see you Debi”, “lovely to see you my girl” to Senga. Robert had a favourite and it wasn’t me! 🥰 We’d go down to the café for a coffee and cake and sometimes we’d sit outside (when the weather allowed us to). Robert would through the ball for Senga and she’d return it to his feet, he’d laugh and say, “good girl”. I’d ask him what he’d like to talk about that day, most of our chats were about football and travel. Robert was well travelled and not just with Sandra, their children, and the dogs but he’d also take the school children abroad on holiday and visited, Germany, the Somme war cemeteries in France, America and Russia. I loved hearing about the places I hadn’t been to.
Robert was discharged late March and once settled back at home, Senga and I went back to see him. First few weeks we took it easy at home. I knew that Robert’s passion was Hearts FC, he held a season ticket for over 30 years. I’d read to him how Hearts FC started out back in the day and gradually read through the decades, his hero was Willy Bauld and Robert particularly loved hearing about him and the “terrible trio!”. As I read to Robert, he says the year that I was read about before I got to it, he’s a massive fan!
Robert turned 85 on July 22nd, it was also Sandra’s birthday on the 21st – same day as me! I took them both to the Skyline restaurant at Hearts FC for lunch, they’d never been to the restaurant before, and we all enjoyed our meal and the views across the city. I also managed to get my hands on a special football programme featuring Willy Bauld on the cover, which I gifted to Robert for his birthday, Sandra said he’s read it from cover to cover. On one visit to see Robert, I had just returned from holiday in Canada, Sandra took out the photo albums as Robert and Sandra had been there. Going through their photos and mine, I noticed that we’d taken the same photo of a stunning deep gorge around 12 years apart, it was unbelievable!
When the weather allows us to go out, we’d go for a run in the car down along the coastline, stop off for a coffee and take in the sea air, obviously Senga is with us, and she’d have a run about too. We’ve been to some lovely garden centres. On one visit, Robert wanted to buy Sandra a beautiful rose plant and said, “it’s because I loved her”.
Senga and I enjoy our time with Robert, it’s good for us all, I’m also learning as I go.
Debi & Senga x🐾 x.